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09 November 2016 @ 02:24 pm
Found this one I wrote several years ago as I was going through withdrawals...

Body aches
The cold, hot sweats
My minds a mess
Full of regrets
I knew better
So much better
Insatiable Miss Jones
Again I've met her
At first seduction
Warmth and love
Good times, euphoric
Then a violent shove
Into addiction
Before I knew it
Full blown full speed
Now I regret it
How does it hold me
Tight and unmoving
Doesn't it have
Something else to be doing
Tapering off slowly
Got to get me on track
With its fucking days numbered
I'll take my life back.
06 October 2016 @ 08:23 am
I'm not a Scottsdale socialite
Fake breasts to impress, you know the type
Platinum blondes with hair extensions
Aura never mediocre, but always pretentious
Filled with spoiled, entitled brats
Stuck up, vapid bottle rats
Roided out gym bro's, tight t-shirts
Hooker clothes on stupid ho's
Quench that thirst
They're phony, judgmental and look down on others
Obnoxious, unfriendly wanna-be motherfuckers
Dance moms, morons, mormons are scattered
Never once have they said "What the fuck does it matter?"
Driving the best, Aston's, Audi's, Escalades
H3's, BMW's
it's the douchebag parade.
Bentley's, Ferrari's and Maserati's
Caddy's, Mercedes, Rovers and Denali's
Porsche's, Jaguars, Fiat's & Maybachs
They'll flaunt a McLaren
To prove they've got stacks.
This is Scottsdale, plenty of hotties
Don't ask their age, though
They're all in their THOTTY's.
25 June 2016 @ 05:11 pm
Dear Cottonelle,
Your commercials suck big, fat, and apparently dirty, ass. Did your advertising/marketing department have an Amanda Bynes-type meltdown or did they just give up? You guys are aware that you are talking to grown people about wiping their asses right? If a tampon company suggests they are the best, I just take their word for it and try them out next time Flo stops by on her monthly visits. I don't need to know anything more. Some things, I'm okay with not overthinking, e.g., tampons, hemerroid cream, monistat, immodium, pepto, and now at the top of my list toilet paper, especially you Cottonelle motherfuckers. I cannot believe how retarded these actors are to have accepted such a gig. "Hey, so Laura, here's what you're going to do. Amber is going to approach you and ask you to try this toilet paper, and you pretend like you have either never wiped your own ass before, or, and we suggest going with, you've done this many times, but are doggone unsuccessful because of your formerly questionable toilet paper decisions. But make the viewer believe you're a real moron, but now you finally see the light"
Cottonelle: next time just say, hey we've made some improvements on our product and although you are not a complete retard, and fully aware of how to wipe your ass, we think you should give us a try. You won't be disappointed" I promise you, I will believe you and try it out. But please, I am begging you...stop with the shitty ;) commercials. It really chaps my ass ;) ASSuming I am incapable of wiping my ass is pretty crappy. ;) Don't get butthurt by my honesty, I'm just being real.
20 June 2016 @ 05:47 pm
I'm not like other women, and have come to a point where instead of being oblivious to it and live in denial, I embrace the weirdness that is me. As cliché as it may seem to say that 'I am not like other chicks, I am unique", it holds very true. Whether or not I want it to come out, and no matter who is around, I am who I am while using no filter and it's almost always ill-timed with the moment.
Allow me to explain the differences, in no particular order, between the majority of women (plus some men) and myself.
• Getting my nails done. Oh, don't get it twisted now; I am in love with the end result. However, I deeply loathe the process; I see it within the same level of dislike as surgery. I wish there was an anesthesiologist at the nail salon waiting at the door to knock me out until my nails are totally finished. It's in the most unpainfully way, brutal.
• Shopping. If I say I am "window shopping", then take that as I am shopping for actual windows and nothing else. I don't browse for the sake of browsing. I know what I want, where it is in the store, and I know to which register I will check out. (The one closest to the exit of where I parked) Goodwill is the only exception. That's the one place I go for one thing, and come out with that plus twenty other things, when, let's face it, the extra time spent in that place is always totally worth it.
• Cuddly words. I actually take it as offensive for you to barely know me, and talk about how much you "care about me" and all these "feelings" you say you have for me. Really? Because those feelings are in your dick. Please be aware of how stupid you sound and realize that maybe, just maybe I'm not the one who needs to hear all of that shit. At least give it the old school progress report time period, 6 weeks, before you release your verbal vomit onto me. It's really gross. You don't know me, and it takes a significant amount of time to get to know someone to see if it's more than what meets the dick when it comes to actual emotions. Don't insult my intelligence, & even more so, don't talk about it, be about it jackass. Pull that shit with me and I'll embarass you. Please understand that I am not some emotionless robot with zero capability of love. I am just someone who would rather have someone prove themselves instead of talk shit. Anyone can talk shit. I do it all the time, so I know.
13 June 2016 @ 10:34 pm
Dear Drive Thru workers of all fast food places I frequent:

When I ask for ketchup, I feel that "more than 2 packets" is implied. Please stop acting as if the ketchup money is coming out of your motherfucking pocket. Grab a handful of those packs you have never purchased EVER, and toss them in the bag. And don't get an attitude about it when I ask, okay? Sometimes you bitches look at me like I just asked you to P90X while we wait on my order. No. I JUST WANT MORE THAN 2 PACKETS OF KETCHUP. It's right there, right in front of you. You can do it, with a smile on your face. And hey, I get it, this seems a little jerky right? So spit in my fucking food. Just don't tell me about it. What I don't know doesn't bother me in the least but when I get a couple of miles down the road and realize you just got all Jewish with my ketchup request, I want to come back, go in this time, slam your face into the french fry grease and get the whole goddamn box of ketchup packets so I never have to ask again.

Sincerely, (that means that I really, really mean it)
Christine, aka The chick whose food you're going to spit in next.
13 June 2016 @ 06:12 pm
This one is so good/bad I had to stop in the parking lot and type this one out real quick, while the stupidity of other people is fresh.
I'm turning into a shopping center. One that has many stores, such as Home Depot, Marshall's, a DSW, and where I was going, PetSmart.
Coming out of one of the stores and waiting to walk across to his car was a man carrying some things. He actually looked a lot like Larry David, but that means nothing. Back to it...I stopped, and gave him the "go ahead, i won't run you over" wave. He did, and what did he give me? You may guess a wave, or since he had his hands full, the universal "thanks for not making me wait to cross" head nod. But you would be wrong. I didn't even get an appreciative form of anything, no eye contact, just a mean sense of entitlement.
But wait, there's more. After he gets across, he realized he had dropped something. It ironically laid right where it would have been demolished by my tire. However, I gave him the "go the fuck ahead, butter fingers" wave and he picked up whatever his clumsy ass dropped. I thought that surely, this was the time he would redeem himself with a "wow, that part where you could have obliderated the shit I just bought with your right tire, but didn't, was very cool, thanks" nod. I got nothing. I'm thinking Mister Manners has no friends, or he has to pay the ones he has.
You have no idea just how close I got to rolling down my window and cursing his old ass out. But I didn't.. not because it was the right thing to do, but because it is mid-June in Scottsdale Arizona and way too fucking hot for my window to be down for anything.
Good thing I know some sign language.
03 June 2016 @ 05:28 pm
There are some things that people say, or a large part of the time, overuse and it drives me crazy.
In no particular order, although the first one is probably number one anyway.

1. "LITERALLY" when used incorrectly; i.e., "I literally broke my neck turning to look at that hot guy". No, you didn't; but I do literally want to break your neck for being so stupid. *Sidenote: I say guy not girl, because no man that I have ever known said that shit.

2. "IT'S ALWAYS IN THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK" - Really? Well, I would fucking hope so, otherwise where do we go from here? What a fucking retarded statement. And when people say it, they do so with a serious look on their face, which leads me to believe they are not joking. That is scary. Stupid scary.

3. "IT'S A PIECE OF CAKE" - What if I hate cake or worse, have a cake phobia? Or why wouldn't you say "it's a cookie" or something? Cake requires a plate and a fork.
I must be the dumbass here because I do not get that one.

4. "BAE" - Alright enough with the laziness people. Has it really gotten that bad? Cut it the fuck out. I get that it stands for "before anyone else" but come on, not everything has to stand for something and most people who use it aren't even thinking of that when they say it. Sounds dumb. Quit it.

5. "IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN HELP YOU WITH" after a long convo with customer service, expressing your displeasure with their services. They still haven't resolved your problem, yet are asking if they can help you with something. UH, YEAH, YOU CAN FIX THE FUCKING THING I CALLED ABOUT?!? How about that?
01 June 2016 @ 06:44 pm
Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking when putting terribly dramatic commercials out there. The worst part is when the label is so successful yet tries way too hard to get the point across. If the point they're trying to make is disgusting me with their desperate and dramatic antics, then point made.
The top two that are the absolute worst of the worst have got to be Lincoln and Jim Beam.
Matthew Macnutsuck driving around in his Lincoln, all super serious and pondering life while telling you how magnificent the leather feels on his ass (who knows what that douche is saying; my hysterical laughter overpowers the volume) is just ridiculous. It's a fucking goddamn Lincoln. You didn't just beat cancer so no need for the drama jackass. Anyway, I thought he was all earthy and rode a bicycle made of hemp. Who knew?

Then there's the dreaded Jim Beam commercial with Mila Kunis. She's all walking around slow, with this psychotic staring in camera, I'll eat your face off seriousness, explaining how they make Jim Beam. Where it comes from, how long aged, etc. Who the fuck cares? We tryin' to get drunk up in here bitch. How the fuck are we supposed to take the voice of Meg Griffin from Family Guy that serious anyway? Are they high? I'm guessing it's cool to drink their fantastic whiskey during advertising/marketing meetings. That would make so much sense.
01 June 2016 @ 04:17 pm

Um, excuse me but how am I just now seeing the fucking phenomenal badassness of a car that is the Jaguar F-type coupe?

I mean, this is some sent straight from the heavens above type shit.
I would say more, but I have to go change my pants.

I mean, don't you feel like Jagging off too? ;)

30 May 2016 @ 09:48 pm
Man oh man. I just got back from the store and that was just 5 miles away...a 10 mile round trip, driving in Scottsdale, I saw about 4 people pulled over, at least 10 cops on the road, and approximately 5 cars swerving in a scary, scary way. You know the driver is fucked up when you are behind them, or one lane over and see them swerve then jerk the wheel repeatedly. I had around 5 people sloppily either pull right out in front of me, or run their light and come close to hitting me.

It was a complete shit show. Lane changes at the absolute last minute, and/or driving with the brakes on basically because they're so fucking stupid, inebriated and paranoid.

I felt so lucky to get back and be alive. Oh, I forgot to mention that one of the last minute lane changers was a cop, but he even he had he decency to, right before his/her last minute decision to get in my lane, hold off until I had passed him. I was all "shit, that can't be kindness and thoughtfulness; I must have a light out or something" :) Nope. LOL

Basically, if you are even contemplating being out and about at even this time, DO NOT. There are so many drunks and generally fucked up people out on the road. They obviously don't care about themselves or their passengers, so what makes you think they give a fuck about you?
30 May 2016 @ 03:16 pm
Dear Forensic Files TV Show,

Your narrator's voice is creepy as fuck. Maybe it's because he is constantly talking about murders, or maybe it is because I never see his face. Combination of both, I am sure. I used to be able to watch your show anytime, but now it is narrowed down to during daytime hours only, with sun shining and blinds open, sometimes with water running. Not sure why, but it makes every sound not seem like someone is trying to break in and make me the next subject of your very successful program. If you're open to suggestions, I have one. Have someone break into that narrator's house, make it look like an accident (you guys know what's up) and get a fresh, less creepy guy to be the new voice of the show. Or just fire that guy; for the love of God and the end to my nightmares, get rid of him.

Jokingly serious,
A skiddish but loyal viewer
30 May 2016 @ 08:29 am
I believe the car you drive says a lot about who you are, speaks volumes about your character and gives general insight into personality traits without you saying a word.

*You drive a car with a huge decal on front/back windshield which says the car's name, i.e., "Mustang" or "Hummer", that means:
That not everyone is as stupid as you are and can clearly see the make/model of the car. There is no need for restating it. You are a complete jackass and I hope a million flocks of birds shit all over your car.

*You drive a luxury car, maybe a BMW or Mercedes, but have plates which state it is a dealer vehicle. No problem, unless you're driving around, leaned to one side and forcing an aura of confidence and a "i'm the shit, you are peasants" vibe. If you are, in fact, one of THOSE douchebags, allow me to check you. That is not your car; you cannot afford that car, and probably never will because you will leech off whomever allows your parasitic behavior to invade their lives.

*You drive a Chrysler 300:
You really want a Phantom, but can't afford it and hope people don't notice the difference. We do, poser.

*You drive a Maybach or Bugatti:
You have tons of money and listen to rap music. You try really hard to impress others because anyone not headless can see those may be the most expensive cars in the world, but there are far better looking ones out there.

*You drive a truck with a huge lift and tower over everyone:
Your dick may not be little but you look tiny and laughable in your redneck monster truck. Stop it.

*You drive a shoebox, or "SMART" car:
Fucking really? Let's see how smart you are after all the brain damage if, God forbid, you get t-boned in that joke of a vehicle.
You look retarded driving that rolling coffin, but at least you are saving the environment right? *SMH* Hope you aren't single and trying to mingle in that thing. Your right hand is going to fall off.

*You drive any fast sports car, but have an automatic transmission or god forbid those gay fucking paddles on the steering wheel. Jesus take the wheel, because someone should shoot you in the face.

*You drive an Aston Martin (any but particularly DBS and Vantage) Audi R8, Mercedes McLaren, Maserati Granturismo, Ferrari F430, Lambo Reventon and I know I'm leaving out a few more but:
You are awesome. Classy, and just a fucking baller. I love you and want to have your babies. Wait, no babies because most of those cars have no back seats. But let's get married, I'll treat you real nice.
27 May 2016 @ 04:55 pm
If I were given a kickass (literal) genie, and it said I could punch only a limited number of people in the face, these would be at the top of the list.

Let's start with the boys:

John Mayer, he's whiny and an all around bitch. He strums his stupid guitar, singing like he's on his rag and making faces like he's getting his nipples pinched. Not masculine, or a "man's man"...well, actually he probably is very much a man's man but he's definitely the bottom.

Tom Cruise, the Scientologist and the church's favorite little dwarf. He hasn't even been likable in a fictional movie since Top Gun. Remember way back when he was jumping around on Oprah's set couches like a fucking whack a doodle yelling out he was in love with Katie Holmes? Yep that is the moment I knew his douchebaggery reached an all time high. I mean, it's called good manners and etiquette not to even put your feet on someone's furniture, but this nut job just went full retard and jumped up and down on those couches like a toddler. And his smile and laugh totally creep me out. Never smile Tom, you're scaring people.

Jerry Jones and Greg Hardy. Jerry Jones, I mean, really do I have to give an explanation? He is a cockface. Greg Hardy is a spineless fucking coward who beat the fuck out of his chick not that long ago. She was bruised up, beaten up like she was a dude, and he still got to play football. Fuck that guy, and his attitude sucks. Jerry the jackfuck even stood behind him saying that he has the utmost respect for the guy, and that Greg is a good dude. Apparently they are taking turns buttfucking each other in Jerry's office with Tony Homo coming in every once in a while for a three way. Ugh.

Michael Vick. I used to be a big fan until the dogfighting shit came out. And that is solely my reason for wanting to punch him in his cocksucker.

Tom Lady and Bill Belicheat. Crybaby bitch and scandalous snake always trying to find a way around the right way to behave and decent thing to do. They both should be taken down a few notches and given a good fifty yard cunt-punt.

Floyd motherfucking Mayweather. This dude has done a lot of shitty things, but one of the worst happens to be this time in Vegas where he had a party comp'd by the place, for him and something like 150 of his friends. All of the drinks, food and bottle service completely free. Servers worked their asses off for hours. What kind of tip did he give? Nada. Zero. Because he is a giant testicle of a man walking around feeling entitled to everything. Douche.

Brett Favre. Because nobody gives a crap about your ass in Wrangler jeans, or your mini me fun sized penis in the dickpics you send out. Ugh. Nobody wants to see that, and thanks to you and your stupid pic, I will never again have to buy Ipecac.

Criss Angel. Yuck. This mega douche makes me want to read up on how to cast spells because I figure it's worth a shot. Why can't he pull off the most epic and heavily requested magic trick of all time and make himself disappear? Or at the very least get rid of that lisp and suck of a disaster he calls a hairstyle.

And now to the females...spoiler alert: they are equally as obnoxious and cringe worthy as the jackfucks listed above.

Lisa Rinna. Man, that chick just bothers me. With her overdone, overinflated balloon lips and a laugh that makes you want to take an ice pick to your own eardrums, she is the definition of irritating. And she hasn't changed her hair up since the early 90's so there's that. This bitch is just messy and fake as those things she calls lips on her face. She should take Harry's last name and call herself "Scary Hamlin". Totally works.

Farrah Abraham. This chick is twelve kinds of crazy and jacked in the brain. Total idiot. Would love to kick her face in. Just for a second.

The Kartrashians. All of them, and this needs no explanation. They are parasitic ratchet cum dumpsters and I hope they are the next group to catch whatever new virus comes around. They do vacation internationally a lot so I am crossing my fingers.

Faye Resznick. Her supposed BFF was Nicole Brown Simpson, and did literally everything possible to capitalize on her murder. Talked shit, wrote a book, anything the fame hungry attention whore could do to be in the spotlight.

And here are some more that annoy me...some I know the reasons and a few I don't have a good reason, but just want to connect my fist to their faces. Not healthy thinking maybe, but honest.

26 May 2016 @ 04:35 pm
Dear birds,

Stop shitting on my car. Doesn't matter where I park, you always seem to find my car. Happening so frequently I have to wonder if its personal. I start thinking back to a time where what could've very well been one of your dumbass parents that I hit that day on the way to work. Or maybe you guys aren't fond of my overusing the flipping the bird to express my frustration with other drivers. Is it all of those times where you all are content, hanging out in the street and I come driving down the road to, apparently break up your party? Are you flock of flying fucks pissed that you have to get the hell out of my way? Are you mad that I bring my own rice to throw at weddings? Yeah, well that one's intentional...because you keep shitting on my car. Knock it the fuck off. There's plenty of ground out there. Pick a spot you dirty motherfuckers, just make sure it isn't on my ride.

The driver of that thing you think is a toilet.
25 May 2016 @ 01:45 pm
Last night was...well, here are some words to help describe the disaster of what could have been a potentially tolerable Tuesday night:
awkward, weird, desperate, pathetic, lame, liars, disgusting, forced...
the company and conversation felt forced, i wasnt raped or anything. a good rape would have livened things up. these 2 were so boring i actually had to fill in dead air with shitty small talk like "yeah your job changing senior citizens diapers sounds fascinating, tell me more" or act interested in their type of music when they play some no bass, talentless electronic fucking house music. like techno, are you for real and is this happening? All that was missing was some JNCO's, candy bracelets, glow sticks, more bad music and better drugs. I wanted to sew their mouths shut, tape their eyes wide open, tie them to chairs and make them watch a recording of themselves attempting conversation with people they dont really know so they would witness their own atrocious behavior and just not be themselves anymore.
Their cool/fun level was the equivalent to a walking talking couple of unsolvable algebra problems. I failed algebra in high school so you can just imagine how I feel about them.
seriously, i couldnt figure out who was worse. they were both super annoying, talked in riddles and asked for things in the form of hints and anyone who knows me knows i CANNOT STAND people who are dependent on hinting around or beating around the bush to get their point across. these are always the ones disappointed because life isnt going their way and their significant other is a giant useless garbage bag of a human being but cant figure out what they are doing wrong. my guess and final answer is breathing. those two are clearly doing it wrong.
Yeah so the point of all this is they had the nerve to request a fucking threesome of all things, from me. i cant even stand being in the same room making eye contact with either of them, much less *vomit, vomit, dry heave* can i imagine us touching one another intimately. dude fuck your mother, that shit wouldnt happen if thats the one thing I had to do to even save myself from a slow painful death. pull the trigger, thats a nightmare freakshow and true fucktardation of a couple. yet i totally believe them when they say they just cant find anyone who wants to give them their first 3way. i get the rejection they keep getting and maybe, just maybe they will do the right thing and he can find some nice tall, jagged steps to throw her down. yeah, she is prego. i mean, come on..they are totally intolerable but i dont wish them death. i just want her to miscarry so those two dont bring more "in the way" and obnoxious fucks into the world. now because i said that, my payback will be some shit like she's having triplets. god.please.not.even.one.
13 May 2016 @ 02:44 pm
Dear all left lane drivers,

If you are in the left lane, act like you belong there.
Do NOT: Watch forty five cars pass you then have the nerve to put your eyes on me like I'm the crazy one. All I did was show you what my middle finger extended looks like. You slowed down an entire town, and collective day for most. I'll bet some chicks got their asses kicked by their abusive men. Because of you, slow ass left lane driver, because you pissed people off to that point.
Also, and I shouldn't have to say this to anyone grown and in possession of a state drivers license, but GET.YOUR.FUCKING.DUMB.FACE.OFF.
The call can wait. There's also this "brand new" fucking thing called handsfree/bluetooth, but you are probably too stupid to use it and act any differently.
Next time a good rain comes through and you feel your car start to hydroplane, hit the gas, text a friend and just let what happens, happen. It's better this way. we are a considerate group of people who know how to drive and have shit to do.
But really, you suck at life, get the fuck out of the way.

No regards,
Everyone driving behind you
11 May 2016 @ 12:41 pm
Dear every man alive,

Stop sending out dick pics. We do NOT now, nor have we ever and will never want to see them in our inbox. Please stop thinking that sending us a dick pic has any positive effect on our opinion of you. It isn't like we are sitting around contemplating whether or not we are going to fuck you, then we get that pic which turns a maybe into a hell yes. Never has that happened. Not even once. Here is some useful info...we already know whether or not we are going to fuck you, so sending us a dick pic either hurts your chances, and/or makes you seem really, really creepy.
We, the dick pic recipients, all had a meeting and decided you should all fucking stop it. Effective immediately. We appreciation your cooperation in this matter, as we do of your reading this letters dick-tation.

06 May 2016 @ 03:36 pm
Dear Netflix,

Please put movies in the correct categories. I am tired of seeing shit like Talledega Nights the legend of Ricky Bobby, in the action/adventure genre. I don't know why, but it's irritating to me. Also, stop being such an overachiever and producing some of the lamest crap ever just so you can appear to have a little of everything. You should be shot in the face for some of your "groundbreaking and fresh" series choices. And one more thing, if I want suggestions on what to watch, I'll fucking ask. There's some real ego behind your thinking you should have a whole section dedicated to what YOU think I might want to watch. Stay in your lane, Netflix; I happen to be 38 and know what I like and how to look for what I haven't seen yet.

No regards!
A regrettably loyal consumer
04 May 2016 @ 12:14 am
Dear any active Kardashian clan member,

Since you guys live to be followers and "go with the trend" no matter how ridiculous said trend may be, I have some breaking news. Trending on twatter is the new super-trend of assface--your docs will ever so gently mold an ass made of your collective liposucked fat, then attach it to your face. If I know you, and I think I do, your love of plastic surgery is so intense that you will risk it all to have all eyes on you. The assface is what's 'in' & I guarantee you all of the attention you both can and cannot handle. Bonus, now you can literally be talking out of your ass and it won't just be ironic.

Trend Hunter
03 May 2016 @ 11:56 pm
I have a new theme concept for this blog. I still will occasionally check in to write some shit-mood-shit-day-shitty-people type of entry, but for the most part, it's going to be "to whom it may concern". You'll get it...stay tuned.

Quote of the day:
"Watching the draft is for losers. It's like attending a graduation where you don't know anyone graduating." --BILL BURR
09 March 2016 @ 07:52 pm
Every day, I try to learn something new. Whether it be picking up the dictionary and randomly selecting a word to understand its definition, or by observing others, I feel mentally healthy when I am learning.
Here are a few things I have picked up recently:
*Some people are going to be bad drivers, rude, arrogant, bitchy, and generally, megadouches/megadouchettes. And their behavior is neither my fault nor my responsibility to change in hopes of improving my own happiness. My happiness is my business, and its' existence and heightened ability is solely dependent on me. No one else should ever be mistaken for the person who can control my mood. That would be way too much power and we wonder where the arrogance in the world comes from. My guess is from people who have been given unspoken permission to have a say in how others feel that day, and that is NOT okay.
*The jerks and bitches should be held responsible for the douchebaggery they project onto whoever is around, but it is not up to me to make sure they are. It's like we want to teach people a lesson when they do you wrong, as if they are completely oblivious to their vile behavior. Oh, they are plenty aware. The lack of acceptance by them is just another tactic used by the passive aggressive to further push us to the rage-fueled misery they live every day. The jig is up, and I won't fall for it anymore. I feel stupid and blind for having let some people have that much power and control over me. Those days are over.
Fuck the fake power, knowledge is real power, and I choose to use it.
06 March 2016 @ 12:06 pm
This blog goes with the theme from the movie The 40 year old virgin, where Paul Rudd and Seth Rogan are playing video games. They go back and forth with, "ya know how i know you're gay? you have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says I like balls on my chin" etc...
But this is more liar-based...

You know how I know you're full of shit?
***You tell me the same story with drastically different details and you don't skip a beat. What worries me is that I know someone so stupid, they can't remember which lie was told to who.

You know how I know you're full of shit?
***You smile and talk positively in a group, but as soon as person A walks away, you throw shade at them to persons B, C, and D. You spill some personal info you weren't supposed to, made up something about them, or did the "did you hear..." gossipy bullshit thing where you just run your mouth. What you don't seem to notice is, some people in your circle are smart enough to figure out that if you'll do it to your good buddy, person A, why on earth wouldn't you do the same to me?

You know how I know you're full of shit?
***You say things like "Ew, I hate drama" then 5 minutes later, you're bored so you create some.

You know how I know you're full of shit?
***You've taken down a previously very well maintained Facebook page not for personal, logic-based reasons, but because you're scared that people you have fucked over will be able to track you down.

You know how I know you're full of shit?
***You NEVER, ever take responsibility for anything that has negatively impacted your life. It's always someone else who fucked you over, and always just bad fucking luck. You blame anyone and everyone so to play the victim and not look as if you *gasp* made a mistake.

You know how I know you're full of shit?
***You haven't had one single "friend" for more than a two month time frame.

You know how I know you're full of shit?
***When I make a valid point that proves you are in the wrong, instead of acknowledging it, you say something like "I am not getting into this with you" or my favorite, "This conversation is over." You look retarded when you do that because it's so obvious you are dodging the truth. Sorry it terrifies you so badly...the truth doesn't hurt you, it scares the bejeezus out of you. That's hilariously sad and pathetic.

You know how I know you're full of shit?
***Everyone else, in your mind, is wrong and you are always right, and you fight to the death about it, no matter how wrong you are or what bridges you burn along the way. You don't open your mind to any other ideas that happen to come from someone else, because you feel your superiority over everyone is real. You view your own mind like a vintage collector's edition action figure; It is worth so much, and if you open it up, it loses value. So it stays closed. Let me know how the being alone forever works out for ya.

You know how I know you're full of shit?
***You never follow through. Sure, you offer...but cannot seem to fulfill any even minor thing that you have voluntarily obligated yourself to. But hey, you will have a great reason every time. An excuse for everything and not once would you say "I fucked up, and I hope you will let me fix it". Nope, that's called humbling yourself, and you'd die before doing something so human and real.

You know how I know you're full of shit?
***When you are confronted with your wrongdoings, your go-to move is to immediately try and turn things around so to take the focus off you. Child's play and desperately obvious.

You know how I know you're full of shit?
***You are breathing and moving.
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: Lily Allen - Fuck You Very Much
06 January 2016 @ 07:49 pm
The reality of depression is, it isn't just about being sad. It isn't about some momentary disaster that's made its way to your front door. It is a constant, everyday battle to keep the negative thoughts at bay before they take over and cause much more than a domino effect.
It is so hard sometimes to just smile, act like nothing is wrong, and to make sure others don't catch on by posting a funny Facebook status. I only do that to prevent the very much unwanted and unneeded cliche advice or statements, i.e., "it will get better" or "its all downhill from here" or "God doesn't give you what you can't handle" which is utter and complete bullshit if I've ever heard it. Come the fuck on and don't get me started on that vile, verbal vomit.
Let's just say I BEG to differ on that last one, if that isn't obvious enough.
Without getting into any details, I'll just say things haven't really been going my way so well as I had hoped. I'll elaborate some other time but at the moment, I just needed to get that off my chest.
18 November 2015 @ 11:15 am
By no means do I think I have learned all there is to know about life. I would have to be an absolute fool to think it would take any less than ten full lifetimes to get even halfway there. But, my personal beliefs are just that, my own. I would never try to influence anyone's thoughts or feelings; this is simply to give a little more insight into who I am and hopefully provide some understanding. **spoiler alert: it's not all going to be boxes of golden retriever puppies under the most exquisite tree on the best christmas morning you've ever had** Some of the following you may find dark...but it is truth. It is my truth, and what I believe. Understand that I have good reasons to feel the way I do, so if nothing else, respect the honesty. I realize that I will probably define contradiction in this blog, but it's just how I feel about things.
*I believe that not everyfuckingthing happens for a reason. I will probably never sway from that because the truth of the matter is, shitty things happen sometimes. If you care to disagree, I suggest you give me good, even semi-hypothetical reasons for wonderful, innocent people being taken from us way too soon by way of cancer, or do-gooder, churchgoing families being wiped out by some dumbass driving drunk. Maybe you could enlighten me as to why people lose their children, in any way or form. Please, I would love to live by the whole ignorance is bliss thing too, but I happen to be too realistic for that nonsense.
*I believe you become or you already are who you surround yourself with. Unless you happen to be a probation officer/work within corrections, or at a rehab facility. Then you get a pass on that. Otherwise, if you hang out with nothing but losers who are thieves and shoot up dope, you either are nearing that level, already there, or in denial.
*I believe in an eye for an eye. If everyone in the world waited on some magical idea of karma to come around, then people with foul character and ill intentions would always win. But they don't. As long as there are jackasses who screw people over, there will be the screwed-over that will make examles out of people because they've simply had enough. Which leads to the next belief..
*I believe you should always treat others well. Kindness can produce such a positive domino effect. I think we all associate "domino effect" with something negative, but it doesn't have to be. At a public place, grocery store, restaurant, open the door for someone, even if they aren't right behind you. Wait, smile and let them go ahead of you.
If the person behind you in line has less items than you do, or if they have more but seemed stressed, let them go ahead of you. If you see someone in a wheelchair, don't just give them a pity smile, ask how their day is going. Not enough people do that. They assume that since they are handicapped, they either have all bad days or no opinion. Don't be indifferent...they very well could be people with real emotions, just like you and me. Smile more, do volunteer work, offer to promote non profit organizations or any good cause on your social media page. If you have time to troll around the newsfeed on facebook and hit like on every lolz cat you see, you definitely have a second to share a post that raises awareness, helps find missing people and animals, and/or simply reminding others that there is good in the world and to be a part of it is beautiful selflessness.
*I believe that when people say every human life has value so to feel like good people, or feel like they are only trying to spare themselves a trip to hell are fooling only themselves, and about as dumb as any of the Kardashian's pubes. Child molesters, serial killers, etc do not belong in this world. They will go to hell before you will, that's for sure. More evil than the evil-doers are those who say say everyone deserves a second chance in life. To do what exactly? To fuck someone else's kid or give an opportunity of any kind to someone who has killed their own family?
*I believe you shouldn't blindly trust, but at the same time not be so distrusting that you miss opportunities to form solid and worthy relationships. I have been on both sides, as many have, and I feel it is so difficult to find that happy medium...but I am working on it.
06 November 2015 @ 06:40 pm
Yep, that's right. Yours truly had a total meltdown. Right in my manager's face. But wait, there's more. Yeah I didn't so much stop there. I went next up and did the same thing to the VP of the company.
It all started, oddly, because I was late. Not like an hour or hours but by minutes and I just lost my shit, because yesterday, My eyes popped open at 8:00 on the dot, the time I am supposed to start my work day. The only thing I can think of is while still mostly asleep, I just turned my alarm off and stayed the fuck asleep. Til 8am exactly. So my boss and mgr were both pretty understanding yesterday. And this morning when I let her know I was on my way, even just by a few minutes would I be late, she texts back that, as if I wasn't aware, that this makes the second day in a row.
Well isn't she observant?
Anyway, when I got to work today, I was near panic mode. I thought I would lose my job and I do not want that to happen. So I texted when pulling in and asked if she could come outside so we could talk for a minute. Our office is uncomfortably quiet, and all you ever hear is the sound of Apple keyboards being furiously typed on all day, so conversation is extremely easy to hear. Especially if you're on pause in your clip.
She comes outside, and I apologized and told her how much I wanted to be there, even though by glancing, the situation looks bad, like I don't give a fuck.
Then I start crying and telling her I need to get back on my meds. And how a few months ago I was diagnosed with BPD, borderline personality disorder. And about how I have the meds but don't really take them like I should because I don't like to admit I am anything other than the good kind of crazy.
First point, I was never in danger of losing my job. When I got to my desk, I saw a write up laying on my keyboard. Big deal, I still need 2 more of those, to be terminated. So great.
Second point is that my manager is apparently a one-upper. This she made clear by responding to me telling her I have BPD is that her son is 6 and has EXCESSIVE ADHD, is schizophrenic, and just before his diagnosis, his father was murdered.
You win. Congratulations.
To make the story even worse, her opener to this is "well, if it makes you feel any better, my son is only 6 with, etc...."
For starters, how in the motherfuck and on what planet would that make ME feel BETTER? If nothing else, it makes me feel infinitely worse. A fatherless child that hears voices and is doped up all the time so he doesn't slingshot himself out the window, now that's a party. What the fuck? I felt I should be ashamed of myself, because she is the one with the real problems. That's how she made me feel. And that is exactly what she wanted. For me to feel like shit. Like I just ran over her dog in the parking lot and now have to tell her about it. I did, but mums the word. I can't afford a second write up just yet. Just kidding about the dog. Right on about everything else.
The vp story is boring. She was very understanding and listened. I needed that. Glad I talked to her second.